I was dating this girl for a little while, a very little while. So short a time, in fact, that the moon did not complete a unit of time as measured by itself, which is to say “one lunar cycle”. In fact, it got out of bed in the middle of the night to pee and tripped over a box it had left out, slamming headlong into the wall that it had skillfully miscalculated as being a few feet to the left. One tends to do that in the dark with barely the presence of mind to form coherent thought, and spending what little of that you have attempting to figure out why bladders weren’t made just a little bit bigger or more stretchy.
So the moon, or rather the month. Let’s just say the relationship was some period of time within said time frame (time for moon to get from bed to door in the middle of the night is “X”). Maybe you wouldn’t even say we were “dating”, but I sure as heck will. I’d made a conscious decision a week or so before that I needed to date someone, and having fulfilled at least some basic requirements I am prepared to declare success. Or at least success for getting in to a relationship. That was until I was meeting up with some friends on a Friday morning at 7:18 AM while eating a birthday breakfast (my breakfast, not my birthday) I received a text message declaring the following:
I want to break up. I don’t viol i can do this in person.
So not only was I not worth the time to see in person or even call, but I wasn’t even worth a few seconds spelling check on what would probably be the most important text message of the day. That last bit is what really miffed me off about the whole thing. Grammar and at least an attempt at spelling. Yes, I realize that it makes me a sad, sad man that the thing I would focus on most here was a misspelled word.
What makes this all really sad is that on this past New Year’s Eve I was dumped by email… by someone I wasn’t even dating. Do people really not want to see me that bad?